20 Week Update

Since I'm not a huge fan of my picture being taken right now, I definitely want to keep a record of how things are moving along every few weeks.  So I'll keep up (hopefully) by using the blog. 

Gender? Boy!!

Baby's heart-rate at last Dr appointment? 143

Cravings? None really. I need to always have something to drink though like lemonade or water. I should probably drink more water.....

New symptoms? I started getting really bad heartburn this week, only at night.  At first I didn't know what it was because I've never really had heartburn, but once I realized oh hey, this is heartburn, I have my little tums to save me :) 

Mood? Happy. I've gotten to a really good and knowing what I should/shouldn't waste my energy on, since I still get so tired so easily. So just being aware of that keeps me in a positive happy mood most of the time. 

Showing? Yes. I had a little excess before I got pregnant (booze) so I didn't think I'd really start showing until later, but the past 2-3 weeks I popped for sure. Even caved and bought some maternity shirts! I tried on all my clothes and got so annoyed because I was convinced they were shrinking...nope, this mama is just growing! 

(((P.S. Everything I read when I got pregnant said to not waste money on maternity clothes because you only wear them for a few weeks and they are expensive, but they are really the same price as anything else I would buy at Target, Gordmans, etc.  I also think, for me anyway, its important to still feel somewhat normal and confident while my body is doing a complete overhaul. I didn't feel confident when I would just buy shirts from the section I would normally shop while not pregnant, so even though I'll only wear them for a few months it already has been well worth the money I've spent.  Another idea: A girl I work with suggested going to look at thrift stores because so many women get rid of their gently used and sometimes really nice maternity clothes! I will for sure be checking those stores out soon.)))

How's Hubby? He's good, and very attentive. Gets jealous when I say I can feel baby moving all over the place, because he wants to feel him so bad! I haven't been able to have him feel my tummy and have Cooper move at the same time because the movements are so sporadic, but I'm sure it will happen soon :) 

Baby is as big as a....cantalope.

Why are we comparing babies to fruit, anyway?

 

Just Baby Love

Here we are at 19 weeks today! I'd like to say time is flying...but it's not! Ok lies. It kind of is. It's weird to think we are almost 1/2 way there. Almost there and only here at the same time. 

Moving got pushed to October 1st. Which is a bummer. But it alright. I have a lot of stuff already packed and stored away though because I thought we would be moved by now. Whoops. So I literally am wearing the same 2 pair of shoes for the next month...since all the other ones are packed. 

Most exciting thing that has happened recently is I have been able to feel baby Cooper (name reveal) move all the time! It is the most exciting and incredible feeling I've ever experienced. I love when he gets all active right at bed time like "hey hang out with me mom." Dude, I can hang all night with you. 

It's such a sweet subtle reminder too. I've been having a lot of struggle lately with some family issues (another blog another day), and heartbreak completely consumed me for a few days. But when I feel Cooper it's such a humbling and relieving feeling knowing he's there, and it's like he's reminding me to not be so sad. It's such a calming feeling knowing that no matter who is absent from my life now, that I have this little person who is so important and who is really depending on me. I can't control what my family chooses to do and how they act, but I can control where I put my energy. And Cooper reminds me that even though it's heartbreaking to have lost some of my family, that I have a family right here and he needs me. Arianna helps me with all this too. She still keeps me so grounded and I have sooooo much energy to focus on her as well. And she deserves it just as much as Cooper. 

I'm not saying that the "loss" of my family is replaceable because it's not, but I can't dwell and be devastated about these choices my family makes on their own when I have so much right in front of me to nurture. 

I'm so baby mode right now. I need to talk about my superstar Arianna!! She started 3rd grade last week. THIRD GRADE! What is happening?! It feels like just last week I was helping her take her first steps. She's so grown up. And she loves independence. Which is terrifying because she doesn't get that with independence comes responsibility and consequences for actions. But she learns. And I learn. And my mom learns. Sometimes it's the hard way....but we learn! She was so bored sitting at home all summer, so back to school was SUCH a big deal. 

We are in the process if tweaking her medication. Her meltdowns and tantrums are getting worse, and more severe because of her size. She is a little overweight for her age, but nothing that can't be gotten under control. So with her size, me being pregnant, and her tantrums it was just time to reevaluate. 

Here's a couple status updates that I should have blogged about. But screenshots will do :) 

And here's a super cute back to school pic. I am so in love with her. Sometimes I wonder how in the world ill be able to love cooper as much as I do her. But the feeling is just so much the same :) 

The only thing she asked for as far as back to school stuff goes was a hello kitty back pack and sketchers shoes. Easy enough for me!!! I'd give this honey anything she ever wanted even the moon. All she has to do is ask. 

14 weeks and counting

It still feels like I have forever and a half to go. But I'm 14 almost 15 weeks closer to meeting our babe. 

We went in for another ultrasound. So crazy to see how much bigger baby is now as opposed to our 9 week ultra sound (those pics are in my previous blog). 

I could see that pitter pattering heart fluttering on the screen. Literally see it working, beating, living inside of me. I saw baby's toes, from biggest to littlest. I saw baby's nose, spine, and brain. It was incredible. Seeing this human, a HUMAN, growing inside me. I feel like baby is doing all the work I'm just giving em a place to stay for the next few months. I love this human so much already, and am constantly thinking about him. 

Him.

Yep we also saw what makes him a him on the ultrasound too. I am beyond excited, but I am by surprised! I had a gut feeling that he would be a boy. 

That being said, it was only 14 weeks. Which is still super early to determine gender. We are holding off on telling people and buying anything until we get another confirmation at our 20 week appt in September. I'm so sure it's a boy, but better safe than sorry. 

Anyway the name struggle is real. I have some favs, but Alex is not a fan. We are learning a different kind of patience with each other because I want him to pick names with me, but he wants to give it time. It's frustrating for both of us. I laugh as I write this because while a name is a big deal it's so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. So I'm backing down and just keeping name ideas to myself for now. When alex is ready to talk about it maybe he will actually have some suggestions ;)

We are in the process of moving right now too. We are lucky enough to stay in the same complex we have been the past 2 years, but just moving to a 2 bedroom apartment rather than the townhome we are currently in. It will save some $$ but it's still big enough for us for now. 

The hard part about being in the middle of moving is that I can't do any of the "nesting" you hear about. I have no baby room to prep, nowhere to store baby furniture or clothes, etc. so that makes me feel like the worlds biggest procrastinator. I keep calm knowing in a month I will be able to start, and I will only be 4.5 months preggo so I have plenty of time. 

Most all of our friends and family know we are expecting at this point. They are so excited and supportive. It's so nice to have that. Alex and I have gone through a ton in our relationship, and so it's great to have friends and family who support us and share our excitement. 

Even though he's getting on my nerves about baby names, I am more in love with Alex than ever. He's so attentive to me, and is always willing to listen to me talk about anything (except names) when it comes to baby. 

If he is anything as a dad like he is a husband he is going to be the greatest one out there. 

I am one lucky woman. 

Never ready.

A few weeks ago we found out we are expecting our first baby. 

I never thought we would get to this point. We waited forever until we were "ready", but the truth is...I don't think anyone is ever ready. 

I wasn't ready to feel 10,000 emotions when I saw the positive pregnancy test. 

I wasn't ready to be in compete disbelief thinking nothing this amazing could ever happen to me. 

I wasn't ready to worry at every symptom, and lack of symptoms. 

I wasn't ready to constantly wonder if this baby is okay. 

When Alex and I went into our first appointment yesterday, 9 weeks, I braced myself for anything. The dr couldn't find a heartbeat with the Doppler. Which is normal when you're so early. She said they would see me again in 4 weeks and check again. 

My heart sank. How am I going to survive another 4 weeks without knowing if our baby is okay? Are all first time moms this paranoid? 

I asked her, "how do you know if something is wrong?" She said well you would bleed. I said,"well what if I don't? What if it just stopped growing? And I have to wait another month to find that out? Can't I just find out now?" 

....she says "fine we will get you an ultrasound."  

Yay! That's what I thought the first apt was for! Of course in a world where drs and hospitals are trying to keep healthcare costs low, she probably didn't want to do something unnecessary. Apparently my lack of symptoms was enough to warrant an ultrasound this early. 

Alex and I sat there, he held my hand. The ultrasound tech, of course super desensitized to how amazing this was for us, just said yep there's your baby moving around just fine. She moved the wand around really fast so it was hard to tell if it was moving but I took her word for it. 

What happened next I hope I'll remember for the rest of my life. She said "there's the heartbeat". Little lines going up and down on the screen really fast. Then she turned a knob on the machine, and we heard it. 

Our babies heartbeat. 

I started crying. Laughing. And crying. 

I looked over to Alex, and he was crying too. 

This is our baby. We certainly weren't prepared or ready to love something so much already. 

So when they say you're never ready, they're so right. 

I can't wait for the next 7 months and months and years after. It's so surreal that it's finally our turn. Our whole relationship of 10 years we've watched this exciting thing happen to so many other people. But this is our time. 

I've never been more in love with Alex, and I can't wait to see what an amazing daddy he will be. 

Forever starts now. 

Monopoly

I'm so mad when I try to create usernames that are already taken. Is it so bad that I just want my instagram and twitter name to just say annakaye? No digits, no symbols. "Sorry, that username is already registered." Is what I get blocked with!! "May we suggest annakaye_01 anna_kaye1988 ?

No. I want annakaye. I've even started recruiting people to report the accounts a spam in hopes their account would get deleted so I could take the name!! Who does that? So I've started downloading every new social media app, even though it's not a thing right now, and registering my name. Then I delete the app until it becomes popular. I just don't know what apps are up and coming so I am registering on all sorts of apps. My latest is Keek. I don't know what this is, BUT when I do decide to use it, my user name is annakaye. Suck it social media. 

10 years gone by

All day I have been thinking of all the memories I've made with Alex over the last ten years. Ten years to the day this man became a permanent part in my life. Our 2nd date was the date that will stay with me forever! 

We had gone to pick up stuff to make cookies at his house. I'd been looking forward to it all week! It had been 1 week since our first date, and before he took me home from the bake date he made his move by asking if I'd be his girlfriend (it was highschool ok? Lol). 

Alex was so different from any other boy at school. He was into my kind of music, got my humor, had a compassionate heart, and oh my gosh could he make me laugh. He was the kid who could talk logic to our adult teachers and make them walk away thinking wtf did this kid just pull on me?! He had the life, rebellion, and the confidence to do everything I wished I could do. 

He used to park in the teachers parking lot. As an adult, that's like the equivalent to parking in a police parking only spot. He was busted. A few times. Got a ticket. A few times. Trivial things like that didn't shake him. It wasn't that he had no consequences, it's just that he knew there were bigger things in life to fret about. It seems small but it's things like that that helped me find a calm in my chaotic upbringing. 

He's done more for me than anyone will ever know. He grew up with me and let me have my times when I needed to find myself. It always comes back to you, Alex. :) 

Luckiest life I live. 

Good pizza vs bad pizza

Ok we've ordered pizza twice this week. Long days at work + being sick = it happens. 

Well we got a really shitty stuffed crust from Pizza Hut the other day....and don't worry I complained. Surely a free breadstick is coming my way. But tonight we ordered dominoes online. They have a section of the ordering where you can leave special instructions (leave on doorstep, pepperoni in hearts, call if lost, etc.). Well my cute husband left the instructions "don't ring doorbell. Draw giraffe on box." 

Well damn....they know how to follow instructions. Now that's good quality pizza AND customer service. 

Dominoes > Pizza Hut