38 Weeks and Feeling....

Third trimester has been a beast. I feel like I got REALLY pregnant at 30 weeks.  

Things are good - I do not have pre-eclampsia, just high blood pressure. Amniotic fluid was low at last weeks appointment, but went up significantly at this weeks appointment. Even though I want him here so bad, I don't want it to be because of health issues (did I say that in the last post?).  I want him to come when he's ready. I just want him to be ready, like...yesterday.

Anyway, I have done nothing but complain about how miserable I am the last few weeks. Yes, I am miserable, in pain, and cry everyday...but I know that this is an experience that has an ending with the most ultimate prize, and I really do understand that it's something to be grateful for. And I truly am. 

Even though typing that right now makes me cringe. 

I wanted to write out things I will miss, and things I will not miss about being pregnant.

Things I Will Not Miss

1. Having to pee 6 times during the night
2. Leg cramps that have made me fall out of bed, and cry out in desperation for them to stop
3. The pelvic pressure pain...oh I will NOT miss the pelvic pain
4. Walking like a t-rex everywhere I go
5. Having people tell me how "cute" my t-rex waddle is
6. Only having 6 shirts, and 3 pairs of pants that fit me
7. Needing help up off the couch, and getting out of bed
8. Toothpaste on the shirt
9. Walking past a mirror and (depending on my mood) having it ruin my day because I'm so huge
10. Waiting...forever waiting

Things I Will Miss

1. Knowing my baby is safe and sound inside my belly
2. Empathy from my friends and family regarding the things I will not miss
3. Being able to say "but, I'm pregnant..." to get out of things 
4. Sleeping whenever I want...zZzZzZ
5. Feeling my active baby wiggle and do backflips 
6. Planning/Nesting
7. Ice cream at 1am
8. My sweet husband reaching over while we are in the car, or laying in bed and rubbing or touching my belly
9. Mommy-to-be parking
10. Being able to blame 'pregnancy brain'

Each list could be longer.....but ya know, typing out each list makes me not feel so bad for myself anymore. I am a very self sufficient girl, and I don't like having other people do things for me...so feeling so pathetic that I can't even get out of bed without asking for help has been hard. But also humbling! So even the bad things have a silver lining. 

I have so much respect for women. If you asked me right now if I would ever get pregnant again I would tell you HELL NO, because of how hard this last trimester has been. 

I'm sure that after he is here, in my arms, I will forget all about the 'Things I Will Not Miss' list. 

I bet that it's something like the Men In Black will come out of no where and do the red flash pen in front of my eyes and I will forget all about the last 9 months, and I'll do it all over again in a few years. 

I can't wait for the sweet surreal feeling of holding our sweet baby...

I'm so impatient, but I know he will be worth the wait.